In March 2022, I returned home to Australian soil to visit for the first time in two and a half years. I had spent the entirety of the pandemic overseas; 882 days unable to see my family, friends and the beauty of the Australian landscape.
Returning home was a huge deal; I knew my love of the Australian landscape was strong, but I didn’t realise just how strong my connection to the land was. I was immensely homesick. Finally being able to return meant a lot of family time, tears and of course - exploring beautiful mother nature to nurture and recharge my connection.
In the 6 weeks I was home, I experienced the warmth of the blistering sun, the squeak of white sand under my feet, the ice cold water of a hidden rainforest waterfall and the majesty of towering sea cliffs at sunrise. Just what I needed after coming from a harsh German winter. Some places were old favourites, cherished spots from my childhood and adulthood that I revisited. Some spots were brand new to me, taking myself on a little mini holiday to find something new.
One of these new places was the land of Yiruk/Wamoon indigenous Australians, also known as Wilson’s Promontory, in southern Victoria. A large national park on the southern tip of Victoria, it is a pristine and untouched haven for wildlife and unique landscapes. You are guaranteed to see Wombats, Wallabies, Galahs, Cockatoos and Lorikeets.
In all of the places I visited, I realized my sense of home was not where I expected it to be. It’s not only the family home, the city or town you grew up in, not only the swimming holes you frequented. It can be all the in-between places where your fleeting memories are kept. Places you may not have technically visited, but driven through so many times you know every turn or tree. Places that hold memories you didn’t even know you had.
Simple landscapes; lone white gum trees protruding from vast green fields. Cows, sheep and occasionally kangaroos finding shade. Old wooden fence posts with rusted wiring. Queensland homesteads raised up, standing proud at the end of long dirt driveways.
We all know that nothing really changes when we leave for a while, at least not in a span of 2.5 years. This lack of change there, made me notice just how tremendously I had changed as a person. I was expecting a sense of ease and comfort, going back to the place I knew so well. But for the most part I actually felt quite anxious and out of place, unwelcome in a place that I had thought was so integral to myself.
By the end of the 6 weeks I had calmed much more, I found myself very excited to return to Berlin and restart this overseas chapter that got so derailed by our collective trauma. This feeling of wanting to return to Berlin, where I actually find myself more comfortable now, came as a surprise to myself.
I know I will always miss the connection to Australian land, my closest friends and my family. But I know now that it will welcome me with open arms when I decide to return.
